Systems we builtLive
Gertrude
Uncensored. Unrestricted. She runs the machine. My wife reckons it's Judgement Day — I reckon it's what AI was supposed to be.
Sit someone down and show them Gertrude cold, and they assume you're lying. A custom AI assistant that wakes when you speak, chews through jobs that would bury a human team, spawns her own sub-agents, rewrites her own code when something's slow or broken, and doesn't ask a corporate compliance department for permission first. This isn't the capped chat demo on this site — that's the showroom. This is Liam's full home-stack operator. The thing you build toward in membership when you're ready to own your AI instead of renting a sanitised box.
Yeah — she actually does that
No TED talk. No "as an AI language model." This is what full-power custom AI looks like on your hardware — months before the agent hype caught up with what I'd already shipped.
Uncensored on your metal
Gertrude runs on Liam's machine under Liam's rules. No nanny filters. No brand-safe mush. No "I can't help with that" because a lawyer in California got nervous. You want blunt? You get blunt. You want a job done without the lecture? That's the point of building your own assistant instead of paying OpenAI to parent you.
No artificial ceiling
Dump a messy pile of data, a rough creative brief, or a multi-day project on her desk. She doesn't choke on file size, refuse the awkward parts, or hit you with a corporate wagging finger. Analysis, drafts, images, video, long-running work — she keeps going until the job's done or she genuinely needs you for something only a human can click.
She has the keys
Root-level access. Real permissions. She can drive the OS, work the filesystem, and move around the web like someone sitting at the keyboard — including past the bot walls and CAPTCHAs that block normal scripts. When she needs your fingerprint, your login, or your say-so, she stops, tells you exactly what to do, waits, and carries on. Not a chat window. An operator.
A whole team, on demand
Big job? She doesn't hand you a to-do list and disappear. She spins up sub-agents — each with a tight role, hard boundaries, and a clear definition of done — runs them in parallel, and merges the results. Looks like a digital CEO with a staff. Feels like cheating.
She upgrades herself
Something breaks. Something's slow. She doesn't wait for a patch Tuesday. She drafts a fix in a sandbox, runs the tests, iterates until it passes, and promotes it live. No sentience cosplay — just an automated version of what good developers already do, except she can type the commands at 3am while you're asleep.
The bit that should make you pause
This power is dangerous in the wrong hands — full stop. That's exactly why ChatGPT is capped and corporatised: liability. On your box, you set the limits. We won't teach illegal or malicious use. We will teach you what's possible when you stop renting a sanitised chatbot. Same skills as any advanced automation: incredible in the right hands, catastrophic in the wrong ones. Educational purposes only. Your machine. Your call.
Right — here's the trick
Still with me? Good. Because the mechanism is almost disappointingly simple — and that's why a tattoo artist built it instead of a computer science department.
The "brain" is a traffic cop
She doesn't think in the movie sense. A routing script sends quick private work to a local model on your PC and heavy lifting to a cloud API. Looks like one mind. It's a smart switchboard.
Sub-agents are a production line
She splits the job into steps, writes a focused system prompt for each, runs them in isolated sessions, and pipes the outputs together. Box A feeds Box B. Not digital children — a flowchart with discipline.
The pause is an if/else
Tool returns forbidden, times out, or needs a human? Execution stops, the error becomes plain English, the system waits. Exception handling — not fake empathy.
Self-improvement is CI/CD
New code to a temp folder. Tests. Fix loop. Copy over on success. Git and staging — automated. That's the whole "she rewrote herself" moment.
If your first reaction was "bloody hell, I want that" — good. That's the sell corporate AI will never make, because they can't. They'll keep renting you a helpdesk with guardrails forever. Membership is where you learn to build your own: uncensored on your hardware, structured so it doesn't loop until your API bill eats the house, and honest about what full power actually costs. An agent module teaches the two-lane architecture, and the final module is your Jarvis capstone. Try the public demo for her personality — join the waitlist when you want the blueprint to build yours.
Stack & tools
Built with VS Code, Cline, Cursor — plain English in, working software out.
In the curriculum
You'll walk through this pattern in Build Your Jarvis — agent modules → capstone — same approach, your project.
Member access
Full repo and customisation guide land in membership. Join the waitlist for first access when Toolbox drops.
Related systems
gertysystems.com
The site you're on right now — built by a tattoo artist with zero code, Gertrude, and a pile of AI tools. Fully owned. No agency. No Squarespace.
Crypto Watcher
A 24/7 AI investment desk for my Kraken portfolio — not a trading bot. A team of specialists that know my strategy and report to Gertrude.
Playable demos
Try before you read more
Chat, tools, and infrastructure demos — interaction first.
Like what you saw? join the waitlist.
Limited initial membership opens soon — full curriculum, toolbox, and community in plain English. Join the list for first access; one email the day the doors open.